


Unsanctioned

by waywardrose



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Gen, Interrogation, universe hopping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:22:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24239479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waywardrose/pseuds/waywardrose
Summary: You're taking the walk of shame to the kitchen, arms full of dirty dishes.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Reader, Armitage Hux/You, Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 9
Kudos: 32





	Unsanctioned

**Author's Note:**

> Anonymous asked: What if kylo ren had a s/o who was from earth and had a phone that was 100% working on star killer base and he found out all the stupidest things thats going on earth
> 
> WR: I apologize, sweet nonny, for not exactly following this prompt. I read it and went off on a tangent.

You’re taking the walk of shame to the kitchen, arms full of dirty dishes. You pass through the doorway to the kitchen. Instead of the kitchen you’re expecting, because it’s a boring Sunday, you step into one of Starkiller’s vast hangars.

Klaxons start wailing, stormtroopers rush for you once you’re spotted. You stumble back and clutch the crusty dishes to your chest. As if they’ll protect you. Or gross everyone away.

Unfortunately, they are just dishes, and the troopers don’t appear frightened of them.

One of the troopers tries to blast you with a stun bolt. You dodge, losing a mug as you do. You scurry through a thin cloud of condensation coming from a refueling station. The troopers relay orders and positions as they pursue you.

You hide behind a stack of crates to lob various plates and utensils. An encrusted spoon hits a trooper square on the helmet, leaving behind a splat of dried spaghetti sauce.

“Hey!” she squawks and fires a stun bolt in your direction.

The bolt hits your raised arm. It jangles down your forearm as blue flashes over your body. You stiffen and open your mouth to protest—because _hey, not cool._ You’d only wanted to clean your place. No sound comes from your mouth. Whatever dishes are in your arms fall to the shiny black deck before everything goes dark.

When you wake, you’re strapped to an interrogation chair in a private room. General Hux stands on your left, reading a datapad in his hand.

He drones without looking up: “You are not a registered human, spy.”

_“Spy?!”_

“Explain the bio-weapon you used against my troops.”

_“Weapon?”_

“Yes, the unsanctioned food receptacles.” He glances at you and taps at the datapad. “They were covered in various bio-hazards.”

“You mean mold?”

His nose wrinkles. “Revolt—”

The door to the room slides open, and Kylo Ren stomps in. Hux begins to protest, but Ren sharply turns his mask to Hux to silence him. Hux sneers. Ren holds up a small screen towards you, and you realize it’s your cellphone. Somehow, he’s unlocked it.

He gets closer and leans in, towering over you. You smell ozone and hot metal.

Through the vocoder, he asks, “What is emo?”

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://the-wayward-rose.tumblr.com)


End file.
